Pairings: OT12, KaiSoo(?) (more later)
Rating: PG 13 (to be safe)
Summary: In which, Sehun is the new Assistant professor of Language; Jongin mysteriously landed a job in the cafeteria; Kris' English major students are failing; Yixing is the calm Chinese teacher who helps the music club undercover; Kyungsoo is the sweet and oblivious, yet regularly mobbed by fans, Language professor; Luhan is the seemingly sweet Mathematics professor plotting to steal the new Assistant Professor; Jongdae is the snarky Economics professor, with a deadly inner troll; Minseok is the new Electronic Engineering professor whom no one pays any attention to; Tao is the History of Arts professor who (not so) secretly works as a part-time Gucci model; Chanyeol is the grinning Biology teacher; Baekhyun is a diva of a Chemistry teacher; Joonmyeon is the Director of Affairs, who has no control whatsoever and the Dean of the college is a man so evil that the devil drinks wine with him (by devil we mean Cho Kyuhyun).
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"It's annoying we have to be here at seven," says Minseok as he plops down on the smaller couch.
"Why on earth do we?" Sehun rubs his temples from his chair.
"The Dean says we have to once a month to 'promote punctuality among students'," drawls Luhan from the smaller couch.
"How does that help?!" Whines Jongin. "And where is Kyungsoo hyung...?"
"Who knows, the Dean works in mysterious ways... and Kyungsoo has extra study classes with his first years now," Luhan gives Jongin a very sharp look, while the latter takes a sudden interest in the walls and the ceiling. Kris walks in with a tall black coffee, and Tao in tow, sitting down at his desk and almost banging his head down upon it.
"I need my ten hours," he yawns into the back of his hand, "how the hell am I supposed to function?!" Tao stretches behind him silently like a cat.
"Try sleeping like them," says Tao, jerking his head towards the couch. Kris notices Yixing and Jongdae sleeping on the couch, with Jongdae using Yixing's chest as a pillow.
"That's hardly fair," grumbles Sehun.
"You're riiiiiiiight," Luhan's sudden drawl gives Sehun chills. "So totally not fair." he watches the Math professor rise from his chair and take the Oxford English Dictionary from Kris' table, and bash it twice against the back of couch which causes its occupants to jump awake; Yixing muttering heated curses under his breath and Jongdae yelling, "CHEEEEESE!!!"
"Oops," smiles Luhan, "there was a fly." Yixing glares swords and sabers at him.
"Hand me that dictionary, I see a fly on your head- get of me Jongdae!" Sehun notes the satisfied smirk on Luhan's face as Yixing throws a half-awake Jongdae off his chest. Jongdae slips down to the floor with a cry of, "THE SHIP IS SINKING!! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSE-" Yixing throws a cushion at his face. Jongdae starts, fully awake now and flips his hair, "I'm comic relief, I don't know what you boring people would do without me!"
"Live our lives with sanity?" Wonders Yixing, as Jongdae snaps his fingers in front of the other's face.
"Gull please! I'm fabulous-er than you." Yixing rolls his eyes.
"Wrong Eng....lish.... err.. Joonmyun... you okay?" Kris asks as he sees the Director of affairs emerge from his office and stand in front of them, looking extremely nervous.
Rating: PG 13 (to be safe)
Summary: In which, Sehun is the new Assistant professor of Language; Jongin mysteriously landed a job in the cafeteria; Kris' English major students are failing; Yixing is the calm Chinese teacher who helps the music club undercover; Kyungsoo is the sweet and oblivious, yet regularly mobbed by fans, Language professor; Luhan is the seemingly sweet Mathematics professor plotting to steal the new Assistant Professor; Jongdae is the snarky Economics professor, with a deadly inner troll; Minseok is the new Electronic Engineering professor whom no one pays any attention to; Tao is the History of Arts professor who (not so) secretly works as a part-time Gucci model; Chanyeol is the grinning Biology teacher; Baekhyun is a diva of a Chemistry teacher; Joonmyeon is the Director of Affairs, who has no control whatsoever and the Dean of the college is a man so evil that the devil drinks wine with him (by devil we mean Cho Kyuhyun).
_________________________________________________________________
"It's annoying we have to be here at seven," says Minseok as he plops down on the smaller couch.
"Why on earth do we?" Sehun rubs his temples from his chair.
"The Dean says we have to once a month to 'promote punctuality among students'," drawls Luhan from the smaller couch.
"How does that help?!" Whines Jongin. "And where is Kyungsoo hyung...?"
"Who knows, the Dean works in mysterious ways... and Kyungsoo has extra study classes with his first years now," Luhan gives Jongin a very sharp look, while the latter takes a sudden interest in the walls and the ceiling. Kris walks in with a tall black coffee, and Tao in tow, sitting down at his desk and almost banging his head down upon it.
"I need my ten hours," he yawns into the back of his hand, "how the hell am I supposed to function?!" Tao stretches behind him silently like a cat.
"Try sleeping like them," says Tao, jerking his head towards the couch. Kris notices Yixing and Jongdae sleeping on the couch, with Jongdae using Yixing's chest as a pillow.
"That's hardly fair," grumbles Sehun.
"You're riiiiiiiight," Luhan's sudden drawl gives Sehun chills. "So totally not fair." he watches the Math professor rise from his chair and take the Oxford English Dictionary from Kris' table, and bash it twice against the back of couch which causes its occupants to jump awake; Yixing muttering heated curses under his breath and Jongdae yelling, "CHEEEEESE!!!"
"Oops," smiles Luhan, "there was a fly." Yixing glares swords and sabers at him.
"Hand me that dictionary, I see a fly on your head- get of me Jongdae!" Sehun notes the satisfied smirk on Luhan's face as Yixing throws a half-awake Jongdae off his chest. Jongdae slips down to the floor with a cry of, "THE SHIP IS SINKING!! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSE-" Yixing throws a cushion at his face. Jongdae starts, fully awake now and flips his hair, "I'm comic relief, I don't know what you boring people would do without me!"
"Live our lives with sanity?" Wonders Yixing, as Jongdae snaps his fingers in front of the other's face.
"Gull please! I'm fabulous-er than you." Yixing rolls his eyes.
"Wrong Eng....lish.... err.. Joonmyun... you okay?" Kris asks as he sees the Director of affairs emerge from his office and stand in front of them, looking extremely nervous.
He then takes a deep breath and opens his mouth,
"Nananana~nana~nana~na," he sings, absolutely off key, while waving his arms about like an octopus. "Nanana~nana~" He jumped upon Kris' desk, while the latter was too stunned to speak. "Nananana~nana~nana~na," Joonmyun does a little turn, while still flailing and flapping his arms around. "Nanana~nana~ Tranananana~" he stops, making jazz hands at his unwilling audience. Then he jumps off the desk, drops to the floor and rolls away to his office, rising and slamming the doors shut.
Silence.
"Please tell me that was drugs and not some stupid routine thing he does!!" Sehun demands staring at the closed door.
"I hope its drugs...." mutters Jongin. Luhan shrugs, and Yixing looks oddly fascinated. Jongdae looks a little disappointed.
"When are we getting an encore?? I want to record that..."
"Lets put it down to mass hallucinations..." Mumbles Minseok.
"I'm going to go bleach my eyes...." Says Kris, turning away. "Actually retail therapy might be a better cure," pipes up Tao, "do you have money Kris ge?"
•
•
•
"Yeah I'll just need to borrow a beaker of it," says Chanyeol to Baekhyun as opens the door to his lab. "I was going to order but then I forgo— OHMYGOD!!! JOONMYUN HYUNG DROWNED IN THE FISH TANK!!!!" Baekhyun bursts in after him to see Joonmyun with his head in the fish tank, unmoving.
"SHOULD WE CALL THE OTHERS?!" Yells Baekhyun, waving his arms about.
"HYUNG WHY?!!!?!! DID YOU HATE YOUR LIFE SO MUCH?!?"
"WERE WE NOT ENOUGH?! OHMYGOSH WAS IT A WOMAN?!?!"
"HE WAS SO YOUNG."
"Wow I almost lost my breath."
"AAAAARRRGH!!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!"
"WHAAAAAAT?!?!" Joonmyun looks around wildly, his hair dripping water everywhere, the collar of his white shirt turning transparent.
"But you're dead!!!"
"Holy gods Baekkie what if he's a ghost!!!!??!?!!"
"What the— hey!!! Ouch!!! Hey!!! Stop!!! Stop!! STOP THROWING STUFF AT ME!!! I'M FREAKING ALIVE OKAY!!!"
"Okay..."
"Okay..."
"But what the hell were you doing in my fish-tank?!" Asks Chanyeol after a long pause.
"I ugh..... I was trying to hear the merpeople."
"The what?!"
"The merpeople," says Joonmyun, holding up an egg the other two hadn't noticed. "I need to solve the riddle and win the Goblet of fire, so excuse me...." He walks out, dripping water in his wake, while Baekhyun and Chanyeol stare at his back.
"Do you think it's drugs....?"
"I don't know Yeol.... I don't know...."
•
•
•
"BUY TWO SLIPPERS GET ONE FREE!!! TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!!!"
"Joonmyun....?"
"TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!!!"
"Joonmyun hyung!!!"
TWO FOR THE PRICE OF—"
"JOONMYUN HYUNG!!"
"Hey what the—?!" Joonmyun protests as Kyungsoo drags him into a corner.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
"I need money to feed my children."
"You don't have any."
"Buy some slippers, Kyungsoo-yah." Kyungsoo sighs.
"Fine, if it'll get you to stop, I'll buy your stupid slippers."
"Yay!!!!" Joonmyun glomps Kyungsoo who stops him halfway, causing his face to smash into the latter's palm.
"Just get it over with.... What. Are. Those.....?" He looks at four banana peels in Joonmyun's hands.
"Slippers."
A few minutes later, the students inch past a fallen Joonmyun with banana peels sticking out of his ears. No body questions him, having seen Kyungsoo storm off from the location a few moments ago. They know better than to mess with a tiny, angry man.
•
•
•
Over the next few hours, Joonmyun is seen jumping out at students in the corridor yelling "Why so serious?!!!!!" while wearing a horrifying shade if red lipstick that he seems to have mysteriously laid his hands on. Then he's spotted in the cafeteria, staring at the food from a distance while pinching the air before him, telling anyone who asked him he had the force and he was training to be a Jedi.
By the end of the day, there was not one person, staff or student, who was left unconvinced that the Director was either or drug or on the road to mental breakdown.
He storms into is office as the sun sets, casting long, shadows across the floor.
"Oh my god you're back!!" He rushes in. "I've been worried, I thought he'd do something to you.... Ugh the horrible things I've had to do!!! But it's okay, you're safe now." He hugs the thin frame of the golf iron. "I missed you, all 36 titanium plated inches of you. Don't worry I won't let Jongdae ever lay his hands on you again my precious....."
Somewhere in the distance, Jongdae sneezes.
Elsewhere, there is a maniacal laugh as someone(s?) views video tapes of Joonmyun's herculean tasks.
