A Series of (God-Awfully Unfortunate) Events: Chapter 2

Pairings: OT12, KaiSoo(?) (more later)
Rating: PG 13 (to be safe)
Summary:   In which, Sehun is the new Assistant professor of Language; Jongin mysteriously landed a job in the cafeteria; Kris' English major students are failing; Yixing is the calm Chinese teacher who helps the music club undercover; Kyungsoo is the sweet and oblivious, yet regularly mobbed by fans, Language professor; Luhan is the seemingly sweet Mathematics professor plotting to steal the new Assistant Professor; Jongdae is the snarky Economics professor, with a deadly inner troll; Minseok is the new Electronic Engineering professor whom no one pays any attention to; Tao is the History of Arts professor who (not so) secretly works as a part-time Gucci model; Chanyeol is the grinning Biology teacher; Baekhyun is a diva of a Chemistry teacher; Joonmyeon is the Director of  Affairs, who has no control whatsoever and the Dean of the college is a man so evil that the devil drinks wine with him (by devil we mean Cho Kyuhyun).
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Crouching Gull, Hidden Panda...
[Or: what starts as "Gull I can't explain what I feel" and ends at "You're a model??!"]
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The staff room is dark when Sehun enters, only lit by four candles on a desk against one side. The others sit around minding their own businesses, occasionally  looking at each other with raised eyebrows. Sehun moves to turn on a light.
"STAHP GULL!!!" Sehun recoils. On one end of the room, Jongdae sits on a desk, with his legs crossed, his eyes closed, hands aloft by his sides and a towel wrapped around his head like a turban.
"Wha-" Begins Sehun.
"Sssshhh, I'm getting feeeeeeeels."
"What the..?!"
"FeeeEEEeeeEEEeeEEEels."
Kyungsoo throws Jongdae a scathing look in the dark as the "ee"s subside. Luhan flourishes his arm towards his right.
"Welcome to Jongdae time, bro." Sehun raises his brows.
"Wha-?" He gets cut off once more.
"Hush gull! I can't explain what I feeeeel."
"Who's asked you to?" Hisses Baekhyun from the couch. Chanyeol looks oddly fascinated. Jongin however stares unblinkingly at Kyungsoo from his chair.
"My Feeeeeels!!" Exclaims Jongdae again.
"What the hell are you feeling?!" Snaps Minseok.
"I'm feeeeeeeling something......."
"What is Jongdae doing?" Whispers Sehun to Luhan and Yixing.
"GULL!!" Sehun jumps when he realises Jongae has some how crept up behind him. "I'm not the awesome Kim Jongdae, right now, I'm The Chensing Masheen." He finishes with a flourished bow, which causes the turban to tumble off of his head and he saves it, except now an edge of the towel covers his right eye.
"Don't ask the question. Don't ask the question. Don't ask the question," mutters Yixing beside him.
"Wha..? Anyway, what is "The Chensing Masheen?"
"Aaaand he asked the question," groans Luhan. Yixing facepalms. Jongdae grins like a cat with cream and and rubs his paws together.
"I'm so glad you asked my ignorant friend," he purrs, "The Chensing Masheen will answer all your most burning questions!"
"What questions?"
"Aaaaand he asked again!" Luhan throws Sehun a dirty look to which he receives a blank stare. Jongdae circles the furniture like a vulture and does his best Dracula stance behind Kris.
"'Vell my leetteel friend," Kris cringes at the sound. "I can tell you everytheeeng! Everytheeeeeng. Vat do you vant to know."
"Ummm... are you identity confused?" Pipes up Jongin. "Cuz the Dracula voice is weird...."
"GULL!!" Kris flinches as Jongdae Jumps on top of the couch. "You are ze confused one!"
"Huh...?"
"Jongdae stop jumping on the couch." Mutters Kris.
"Uh-uh-un gull~ You know this is Jongdae time." Kris rubs his temples.
"Just get off the couch."
"Just get off the couch what~?"
"Please?" Sighs Kris. Jongdae takes one leg off of the couch.
"How about nah gull~" He says in a singsong voice and jumps harder for extra effect. Kris' eyes snap open.
"How about yes." There's something strangely commanding in his voice that makes Jongdae stop for a brief second, which gives Kris enough time to grab the shorter around the mid riff and hoist him up.
"Hey- Dude- What the hell??!!"
"Tao!" Yells Kris, but apparently Tao doesn't need to be told as he grabs Jongdae's thrashing legs and the two hold him between then swinging in the air.
"Gull this is not funny!! You lost a bet to me!! I shall have my Jongdae time!!"
"No you don'- oof!" Groans Kris as Jongdae's bony elbow hits him in the chest. "I've had enough of you calling people aquatic birds and prancing around like Dracula!"
"I will have my revenge I tell you! I will return and haunt you to your graves! Revenge!! Reven-" Thud.
"Oops, that was totally unintentional," grins Tao, as he maneuvers Jongdae past the door correctly. Jongdae glowers darkly.
"Let's go dump this body Tao..." Mutters Kris as Jongdae gives him a horrified look.
The bell rings and the other professors start filing out to their classes. Jongin grudgingly returns to his post at the cateen throwing longing glances back at Kyungsoo as he does, only to bash into Yixing's bookshelf and rush out from under Kyungsoo's very confused gaze.
 Kyungsoo taps Sehun on the shoulder."You don't have to come with me for this class, I'll call for you later, okay?" Sehun nods.
"Umm... hyung?" He eyes Kyungsoo carefully, judging the only sane person in a staff room full of insane people. he thinks it's afe to question him and expect a normal answer.
"Hmm?"
"What was that all about?" Kyungsoo laughs.
"Well, around last sem, he won a bet against us and ever since he gets "Jongdae Time" once a month to piss the life out of us. It usually ends that way too." He sighs. "Well, I'll be off... and uh.. not to be rude... but is your friend okay in the head...? I mean he is the guy responsible for our food."
"He used to be.... almost normal..." Says Sehun, pretty much unsure of Jongin's mental heath himself. Kyungsoo smiles knowingly and picks up his books.
Sehun starts working on reading some student essays and wonders what language he's reading for the most part (it's supposed to be Korean) until someone clears his throat nest to him.
"Yeah...?" He looks uneasily up at Tao. For the three weeks that he's been here, Tao is the person he's spoken the least too, and it probably had something to do with the fact that the other gave off a dangerous emo aura and stuck to Kris like glue for the most part, so he doesn't quite process it when Tao asks him a favour- specially a favour like this.
"You want me to what?!"
"Umm.... go shopping with me....? The mall is fifteen minutes away!" Sehun thinks he looks like an a wolf trying to make puppy eyes, and oddly succeeding.
"So creepy...," mutters Sehun.
"What?"
"I said, what happened to Kris hyung?"
"He's busy... doing Canadian stuff," shrugs Tao.
"Wha- what about Kyungsoo hyung? He could go with you after class."
"He's busy doing Korean stuff...?
"How about Luhan hyung? Or Yixing hyung?" Sehun takes a last shot.
"Oh them... they're busy doing... stuff..." Says Tao ominously.
"Stuff...?"
"It's best nobody knows what those two are up to." He shudders. Sehun wonders, at the back of his mind, if its Jongin that's affecting the sanity level of this place or is the place affecting Jongin? He sighs in resignation.
"Yeah okay, I'll go." Tao's eyes turn into crescents as he gives Sehun an awkward hug (well it's awkward for Sehun) and he runs out calling,
"See you downstairs in five!"


"HOLY SHIT!!! That's you!! And that!! And that one too!!"
"Wh-wha- hehe.. you must be seeing things...."
"No I'm positive it's you!" Sehun flaps the magazine at Tao's face, while the latter takes a step backwards.
"That's just some, very good-looking guy, who happens to look like me," insists Tao. Sehun raises his eyebrows and points to the two posters on either sides of the display window of the store.
"What about those?"
"Same, ridiculously good-looking guy."
"I don't believe it! You're a Gucci model??!"
"Shhhhh!!" Tao covers Sehun's mouth with a hand. "It's supposed to be a secret!!"
"Pfft, everyone knows," says a soft voice behind Sehun, causing him to jump into Tao.
"Tsk, tsk, kids these days. Mind the PDA," says another voice. Sehun detaches himself from Tao and looks to see Yixing and Luhan.
"You practically wanted us to know," says Luhan. "You left all those magazines when they came out and dragged us to the mall all the time."
"You've been played kid," grins Yixing. Sehun raises an eyebrow at Tao who blushes.
"I-it's not like that! I really do have stuff to buy," he says, ducking behind a shirt rack.
"Sure~ Come on XingXing, our job here is done~"
"Don't call me that."
Sehun watches the two of them leave and looks at Tao.
"How did they get here...? I thought they had class...."
"Noooobody will ever know..." Tao's voice wafts over from the shirt section.
"Talk about your crouching dragon, hidden panda," sighs Sehun. Tao peeps out from behind a section of fluorescent shirts and grins at him.
"You can pick anything you like, you know? One for free. I'll put it on my tab."
"You can do that?" Tao nods. Sehun returns him a grin of his own. "You're a good man, my friend."
"So we're cool?"
"Oh we are colder than cool," says Sehun before attacking a sunglasses stand with gusto.
"Err... okay then..."
"Is there a price limit?"
"Yes.."
"We're a little less cool now."

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This is a picture of the staff room and Suho's office.
I hope to get better at humor as I write so please bear with me and I'm happy to receive suggestions.
Xie xie,
ElfinJoy
P.S- in the summary, if you click on the highlighted names, you will get images of the members as I imagine them to be in the story! Also if you click the highlighted words when Sehun talks about Tao being a model, you'll see the pictures (I think you'll want to, after all who doesn't want a hot Taozi!) 
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Cut Scene 2: Kim Jongdae and his Tape again.

"So wanna go get gelato later XingXing...?"
"I told you not to call me that, Luhan."
"Why?? It sounds cute!"
"No, it sounds silly."
"What? Dude! I've given you the most amazing name on planet earth and you slander it like that!! For shame Zhang Yixing! For-"
"SUUURRRRRPRIISE!!!"
"AAAAARRGH!!"
"HEY! Get off of me Luhan!" Click. 
"Oh my pure blackmail gold."
"What the hell Jongdae just give it back!!"
"What the hell Lu, get off of me!!"
"Ooo you two are so precious."
"Get off of my lap you oaf!!
"Who are you calling an oaf!!?? I'm as light as a fawn! And give that back Jongdae!!"
"Nope my pretties, I'm so milking this one! Mwahahahhah!!"
"I think my thighs are dead."
"Shut up XingXing! Get back here Kim Jongdae!!"
"Catch me if you can~ Mwahahahhah!!"
"No Xing- Put that diction-"
"Stop right there!!"
"Nope~ Mwahaha-" THUNK!
"Uhh.... we might have to dispose off of his body XingXing." THUNK!
"Huh... looks like I have to dispose two now..."
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A Series of (God-Awfully Unfortunate) Events: Chapter 1

Pairings: OT12, KaiSoo(?) (more later)
Rating: PG 13 (to be safe)
Summary:   In which, Sehun is the new Assistant  professor of Language; Jongin mysteriously landed a job in the cafeteria; Kris' English major students are failing; Yixing is the calm Chinese teacher who helps the music club undercover; Kyungsoo is the sweet and oblivious, yet regularly mobbed by fans, Language professor; Luhan is the seemingly sweet Mathematics professor plotting to steal the new Assistant Professor; Jongdae is the snarky Economics professor, with a deadly inner troll; Minseok is the new Electronic Engineering professor whom no one pays any attention to; Tao is the History of Arts professor who (not so) secretly works as a part-time Gucci model; Chanyeol is the grinning Biology teacher; Baekhyun is a diva of a Chemistry teacher; Joonmyeon is the Director of  Affairs, who has no control whatsoever and the Dean of the college is a man so evil that the devil drinks wine with him (by devil we mean Cho Kyuhyun).
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This Could Be the Start of Something New...
[Or: what starts at "why the hell did I come here?!" and ends at "you are my mortal enemy— FOR LIFE!!!"]
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Oh Sehun is your average Joe, except he's Korean, so maybe he's an average "Kim", but he's obviously an "Oh", not a "Kim" so... anyway, the point is, if he was an American. he'd be an average Joe. An average guy, with an average family, from an average town, with an average job, until his parents forced him to go to Seoul for work.... but he's still an average guy- wondering what he's done to end up in this loony bin.
It hasn't been five minutes since he's entered the campus and two minutes of those five have been wasted by a human traffic jam, caused by the onlookers of a fight between two people, one of whom looked like a very tall Psychotic Clown, with a weird blonde mushroom growing out of his head and the other was a very tiny (or did he just look tiny because of the giant mushroom guy, wonders Sehun) guy, who looked like he was the spokesperson for Eyeliner rights, both of whom were hurling insults at each other...

"You Sone of a bicarbonate!"
"You're the Sone! The Sone of a Brachybacterium!"
"Why you freaking nitrate of ammonia-"

Sehun hadn't waited there for much longer before making dash in the opposite direction and yet by some sad twist of fate, here those two are sitting opposite him in the staff lounge, no longer fighting but with each other but now Ginormous-Psycho-Mushroom dude has his arm draped over Eyeliner-Poster-boy, who's reading over sheets of paper while trying worm his way out of the taller one's grip. On Sehun's right there's a person who looks like a little kid, well if truth be told, like a cherubic  little girl, and this Little Girl-Guy has his foot across the couch on the lap of a very calm looking Chinese man, who actually looks more dazed and lost than calm. Then next to the Mushroom-Eyeliner duo is a man with the cheek bones of a Greek God, except he'd tripped Sehun on his way to the couch and flashed him a very disarming grin so Sehun decides that he's officially Mr. Cheekbones-of-Hades, there's also a Chinese guy with panda eyes who looks way too fashionable for a professor (also he has a strange emo aura), a guy with really squishy looking cheeks and a really tall imposing guy, who has not said a word, or lifted his eyes off his book (Premeditated Murder Made Easy) so Sehun's giving him a wide berth. Somewhere in the middle of this zoo, his old friend Jongin walks in. Jongin has landed the head position in the cafeteria and Sehun wonders exactly what horrors the students are in for.
But before he has a chance to wonder exactly how may hospitals will be full by the end of the day, the Director of Affairs, who's name Sehun knows is Joonmyeon, walks in with a smile that says "look-at-me-lowly-beings-I'm-an-angel" but he really looks like somebody's grandpa trying to be cool.
"Sehun ssi, glad you'll be joining us, you too Jongin ssi."
"Seriously?!" Squishy-Cheeks looks at at the Director with incredulous eyes. "You're giving cafeteria boy a welcome too?!" Then he looks over at Jongin apologetically. "No offense bro." Jongin shrugs.
"Anyhoo," the Joonmyeon carries on, "let me introduce you. That's Luhan, he lectures math." Little-Girl guy gives him a real angelic smile, that leaves Sehun mildly disturbed. "That's Chanyeol, Chem." Psychotic-Mushroom gives him a psychotic grin. "That's Baekhyun, Bio." The Eyeliner-poster-boy looks up in disdain.
"Hey kids, and it's Bio-logy."
"Yeah, okay, that's Jongdae, he's for Eco." Mr. Cheekbones-of-Hades grins at them.
"What's up shortstuff?" Jongin and Sehun raise eyebrows, because Jongdae looks atleast a head shorter than both of them.
"That's Tao, History of Art and Kris, English." Panda-Eyes and Potential-Murderer give him curt nods. "This is Minseok, Electronics." Squishy-Cheeks pouts and then smiles kindly (is that pity in his eyes?) at the two. "And this is Yixing, Chinese." There is no response as the dazed Yixing stares at the opposite wall with his eyes half-shut, and his ears plugged with purple earphones. "Yixing? Yixing? Yixi-"
BAM!
The door flies open and Yixing jumps up with a "I swear I was paying attention!", while Luhan's legs drops to the floor and he utters a yelp of protest. The person at the door looks like a sorry mess.
"I'm... sorry... I'm... late...." he manages to spout among the panting and gasping. Sehun notices his shirt looks terribly crumpled and his hair is more than askew, while his large eyes are watering and his cheeks are red. Sehun thinks this pint sized man looks like a soft toy, and he's about to say that to Jongin, when he realises that his friend is staring unabashedly at the new comer, with eyes wide enough to match his.
"Ayo! Wassup D.O.!" Luhan calls out chreerily, two decibels too loud and everyone visibly winces.
"Mobbed again Soo?" Minseok asks with a pat on "Soo's" back. He nods woefully.
"I don't even... they need some... so many people!!!!" Baekhyun rises from Chanyeol's grasp and gives his seat to "Soo" who gets engulfed into a bear-hug by the large Biology professor.
"Yeol-can't-breathe-let-go-" Chanyeol lets go with a hurried apology. He hears something snap, actually snap next to him, and he realises that Jongin has broken a pencil in two with his fingers while looking at Chanyeol like he was going to end up on the afternoon's lunch menu soon.
"How do they even find you?" Sehun almost fell out of his seat in shock at the deep baritone of Kris. "Soo" shook his head in utter defeat.
"I swear, someday I will find out." Sehun has the intense urge to hug this tiny man. He notices Jongin's knuckles have turned white.
"This is Kyungsoo," says Joonmyeon. "Sehun ssi, you'll be his assistant lecturer."
There's a suddenly loud crash and Sehun realises that Jongin has fallen out of his seat, and is now looking at Sehun with a face halfway between "I'm-in-terrible-pain" and "I-will-end-your-life"... why the second, Sehun does not know.
"You teach Languge?" Jongin asks Kyungsoo politely (too polite, thinks Sehun), while trying to act as if nothing had happened. Kyungsoo looks at him with the same curiosity that one might use to look at a monkey in a zoo.
"Yes, I do.."
"He totally D-O-e-s!" Quips a grinning Luhan. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.
"Isn't it a bit too early to make fun of my last name?"
"Of course not Do-nut my man!"
"Argh!" Says Kyungsoo, ruffling his own hair in defeat. Suddenly Sehun feels himself being hauled upwards by two pairs of strong hands, and he lets out a very high pitched yelp.
"I'm borrowing him for a bit," says Jongin between gritted teeth and proceeds to drag him out of the door, ignoring the raised eyebrows and Jongdae's call of "play nice kids!" and slam him against the wall at the nearest corner.
"You're the Assistant prof.?" He demands.
"Ye-ah..." Sehun is very unsure of where this is headed.
"No~!" Wails Jongin and slumps to the floor. "You... but I... I mean this.... I- I don't want to work in the cafe!!"
"Why'd you even get a job there? You're-"
"Don't talk to me Oh Sehun!"
"What? You dragged me out here-"
"Zip! Do not talk!"
"Wha-?"
"Oh Sehun you're officially my mortal enemy- FOR LIFE!"
"Morta-"
"For LIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!" Says Jongin before stomping off. A second later Sehun hears a crash and a groan.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" He peeks around the corner to see Jongin sprawled on the floor with a very concerned Kyungsoo hovering over him.
"Ooooh, you've D-O-n-e it now," whistles Luhan.
"Not now for god's sake! Are you okay?" Jongin groans and opens his eyes. Sehun notes his friend's interesting red colour over his tan skin.
"I'm hot!" Says Jongin springing up, and Kyungsoo takes a hasty step backwards, while Sehun mentally facepalms. "I- I mean I'm cool! Not- not that cool, but cool as in 'hey I'm okay'... oh wait that rhymed and umm.. I uhh-" He catches a sight of Sehun's impassive face around the corner. "For LIIIIIIIFE!!" And he bolts towards the stairs, leaving a very amused Luhan and Yixing and a very confused Kyungsoo in his wake. In fact, Sehun can almost hear Kyungsoo's internal comment on Jongin's sanity, or the lack of it.
So a loony bin, that just became loonier thanks to Kim Jongin, contemplates Sehun as he walks through the corridors. Students start pouring in, some looking at him in vague interest, others hurriedly rushing past.
He sees Chanyeol and Baekhyun animatedly discussing something, Lunhan, Yixing and Jongdae with their heads conspiratorially together, Joonmeyon walking through the corridors, smiling perkily at the students who  could not care less, Kris walking off with his nose still in the book ( Sehun is going to give him a very wide berth)  and Tao occasionally pauses to check his reflection in the mirror.
Yes, right now if someone could read Oh Sehun's mind, they'd hear him ask exactly what sin he's committed to end up here.
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This is the first chapter in the series, the following ones are going to focus on a few members at a time, rarely all 12.
I hope to get better at humor as I write so please bear with me and I'm happy to receive suggestions.
Xie xie,
ElfinJoy
P.S- in the summary, if you click on the highlighted names, you will get images of the members as I imagine them to be in the story!
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Cut Scene 1: Kim Jongdae and his Tape.

"Not fair... even Lunch-Boy gets a welcome and I got nothing when I came last month. Just 'Hey Minseok, this is your schedule, have fun.' Who the hell has fun in Trical?! People just stare-"
"SUUURPRIISE!!!"
"OH MY- oh very funny Jongdae... what's that?"
"This is a tape recorder and why yes, I did record my voice and then digitally layer it eleven times so it sounds like bunch of people and ta~da~!"
"Where the hell... do you even get the time...?"
"Wouldn't you like to know my little Minseokkie, ehehehehehee."
"I'm not your little Minseo-."
"Ehehehehehehee."
"The whole evil-hand-rubbing thing isn't working, so sto-."
"Ehehehehehehee."
"And nor is the high-pitched-maniacal laugh, just sto-"
"Ehehe-" THUNK!
"OH MY GOD! Did you just knock Jongdae out with that text book?!"
"Lu..han... I uhh-"
"HEY GUYS! WE NEED TO HOST A PARTY IN HONOUR OF MINSEOK! LIKE NOW!!"
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From My Dreams

I am blind, for I cannot see. I am mute, for I cannot speak. Through no fault of mine own am I this way, yet the world around me treats me as if it were so. Am I to understand that accident's are my fault? Am I to confess that I intended to lose my vision and voice to become a burden to others? Am I to believe that someone could ever wish to lose their voice, much less their sight? Am I to say that I revel in the eternal darkness that surrounds my every waking hour? Am I to also say that I revel in not being able to seek comfort through voicing my thoughts, thoughts which I have no way to communicate, thoughts which will remain in the deepest crevices of my mind, never to come to light? But do not pity, for I can still touch, taste, smell, hear, but most importantly dream.
I dream the same dream each night. It is only momentous, but those moments leave me with the warmth an comfort that I lack in my waking life. In my dreams, the colours are beautiful- the reds are vivid, the blues sparkle and the whites are the purest. The skies are clear and the wind blows softly across my face. My light summer frock floats lightly about and a man, in a cardigan and jeans, who's face I never remember, walks beside me. We just walk, for as long as the dream lasts, we walk. Each time, we hold hands, smile at each other, and then as the dream fades away, he says something but as I open my eyes to a black world, I never remember what it was. It does not negate the fact that I feel warmth bubbling from the pits of my stomach, that leaves a smile on my lips- of course wiped clean when I'm tipped out of bed onto the floor and orders are barked into the air, in a harsh woman's voice to start being useful to the household. I don't know whether it is shame or hurt that prevents me from calling the said woman my mother.
The dream stays with me trough the day, the bright colours in my minds eye, till I am ready to be enveloped by it again at night. Until, I'm woken one night to the melodious sound of a male voice, next door, that forces me out of my bed and onto the balcony to hear better. The journey is perilous. I grip the wall tight, lest I fall three stories down. But the labour is worth it. The voice is beautiful, with the right amount of husk in it that makes it manly and not just sweet. But footsteps in the hallway cut my momentary elation short. Yes, I am worse kept than a prisoner at my own home. I stumble into the room, my knee catches the corner of the bed. There's a sharp sting and I know I've scraped the skin, but there's nothing much I can do as I bury myself under the covers, falling asleep, cradled by the smooth voice, but not before I hear the last line, that for some reason, brings tears to my eyes-
"Wherever walk together will be paradise..."
That night, for the first time, the man in my dreams says the same thing.
So for the next few nights I sit up in my bed, occasionally peeking out the windows, waiting for the voice to sing me to sleep, not daring to venture out for the fear of being discovered by someone at home and then paying all hell for it. Each night it is the same sing that lulls me to sleep and each night it is the same words that fill my eyes to the brim. Then one night, the voice seems closer. Temptation and curiosity win me over as my legs make their way to the balcony. My hands fumble around the latch before I can slide the door open. There is a gust of fresh air, the unorchestrated symphony of crickets and cicadas, a trip, a fall and then two strong arms wrap around my waist and pulls me straight. The touch is unfamiliar. It's gentle, kind, almost the same feeling as from my dreams. For a moment I turn my face to what I hope would be this person's, till he uses a finger to gently turn my face, with a soft,
"I'm here." For a while I clench and unclench my fists and then, with hesitant fingers reach out to his face, which I miss for sure. Slender fingers wrap around my wrist and and gently pull it to meet a soft cheek. He's real. "You're the girl who was in the accident a few months ago.....?" I nod shakily, letting my hand slip over the slack of his jaw, his soft cheeks and then his lips, which part slightly under the touch. "I-I'm sorry... I saw you out here once and the leaning out every night ever since and then I just had to- not that I'm a creep, or any thing of that sort- I live next door and I stepped over into your bal- and I'll stop talking now..." I cover my mouth in a silent laughter. "Wh-why do you...?" He asks, and I'm standing close enough to feel his breath.
'Your voice,' I mouth silently and wonder if he has understood but it seems he has because he mumbles a soft 'thank you'.
There is a sound from inside the house in the silence of the night and I clutch wildly at the fabric of his shirt. His hands naturally wrap around my waist and pull me close. But panic has overtaken my mind as I struggle to break free from what might be the only ounce of kindness I have experienced in a long time, and scramble towards the door, banging my forehead, my only concern being that it might have awoken the entire house... an arm wraps around my waist and another around my shoulder and leads me to my bed. There's no trip, no fall, no bumps, no scratches, the blanket gently falls over me and a soft hand tenderly caresses my cheek. This is kindness I have not felt in a long time. This is a touch I have not felt before. The desire to keep it rises rapidly and I grab the wrist and look up with wide, unseeing eyes, into what I hope is the face of the person.
Stay.
The hesitation is almost instantaneous. With a jolt of horror, I pull my hand away, having realised that I have just asked an absolute stranger to- but human kindness is almost difficult to comprehend as gentle hands push me further into the bed and the bed sinks under the weight of a body that sits next to me.
As the night grows, he ends up reclining against the wall with me on his chest, an arm around my waist and the other intertwined with the fingers on my left hand, humming the words that still bring tears to my eyes-
"Wherever we walk together will be paradise..."
I am not a fool. I know there is no promise of a 'better tomorrow'. I know there is no promise of a better anything. There is just this moment, wrapped in an inexplicable feeling of warmth, safety and comfort, that comes from a stranger..... but I am content to live with it for now, until day breaks and I am tumbled headlong into my own waking hell.
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I saw a dream in which I was walking along a beautiful garden with a person who's face I don't remember, but I do remember feeling so happy to be there. That, coupled with the fact that I've suddenly begun to cry every time I hear the end of the first chorus of Exo-K's Angel, is what gave birth to this fic. So feel free to imagine your bias as the stranger in the story.
ElfinJoy

My Ballroom Is Bad- TaoiRis/XiuChen

Huang Zhitao buried his face into his knees, praying for the earth to swallow him where he sat. Around him, the other five Exo M members, sat joking, laughing loudly, hitting each other when the aforementioned jokes did not sit well... Luhan sat at the center of the couch, Kris to his left, Lay on the right. At Lay's feet, Tao sat, still hiding his face. Next to Tao, Xiumin sat while Chen rested his head on his hyung's lap, ignoring the other couch.
"Gwaencha Tao-yah?" Xiumin suddenly noticed the maknae's depression. All five pairs of eyes were now on him. Tao shook his head, while it was still between his knees and mumbled something.
"What did he say?" Asked Chen, turning his head upwards at Xiumin who shrugged and turned back to the maknae.
"Kill me," said Kris and four heads turned to him with a very confused look, but he wasn't paying them any attention. "Tao?" He called but received no response from Tao, though Xiumin noted that the maknae had visibly stiffened. "Tao?" Still no response. By now every other member was watching very carefully."Zhitao? Huang Zhitao!" Tao turned slowly to face the leader, with a disgruntled, petulant look. Luhan covered his smile with a cough, Lay put his attention back to the television, tough the corners of his mouth were tugging upwards, Xiumin and Chen looked at each other desperately trying not to break into laughter at Tao's childishness. Kris was unaware of everything but the panda. "Why do you want us to kill you?" Tao narrowed his eyes at Kris and pouted.
This was too much for Chen who broke out in giggles, while Xiumin slapped his hands on to the younger mouth with lightning fast reflexes, which caused Chen to feel like he was being suffocated, so he thrashed his arms and legs like a fish out of water, while still in resting on his hyung, which in turn caused Xiumin to yelp in pain, which caused Lay, who had zoned-out, to jump in his seat, which in turn, caused Luhan to burst out laughing, which caused Kris and Tao to finally register the world around them.
Lay shook his head and asked, ''If we're going to kill you, we need a reason, or we're going to jail."
"If we listen to the panda and kill him, we'll be in jail anyway," sighed Luhan. Kris sighed and looked back at the maknae.
"Myballroomissobad...." mumbled Tao, while the others looked at him with raised eyebrows, except Kris, who said,
"My ballroom is so bad...? Tao why the hell do you think your ballroom is bad-"
"More importantly, why the hell do you care- oww!! Hyung!!" Chen was smacked on the side of the head by Xiumin.
"Ilooklikeanidiot....." mumbled Tao once more and all eyes went on Kris.
"No, Tao, you do not look like an idiot." Said Kris, exasperated.
"And besides," began Chen once more, still resting on Xiumin's crossed legs, "I was dancing with you-owww!!! Hyung that freaking hurts!!" He yelled to Xiumin, who had smacked him on the side of the head again.
"Then stop talking!" Hissed Xiumin, undertone, which shut Chen, who did not want to face an angry Baozi.
"Ignore him Tao, you and the duijjang looked really cool dancing," said Luhan kindly. There was a sharp intake of breath on his left. Tao on the other hand, snorted, and said,
"Cool? A bunch of monkeys could have looked cooler ballroom dancing and a bunch of martial artists trying to kill each other could have looked more romantic..."
Luhan could almost feel an aura of negativity radiating from his left and Lay hastily added," Not at all, very very cool. Didn't you hear the screams?"
"But that's because they like...." began Chen, and then stopped taking a peak above at Xiumin's face, with a half-afraid look. Xiumin on the other hand, looked genuinely interested in what his dongsaeng had to say. "Aren't you going to whack my head?" Asked Chen incredulously.
"Do you want to be hit?" Asked Xiumin, cocking his head to one side. For a moment, Chen wanted to reach up and pinch his hyung's cheeks. But he just turned to face Tao and said, all the while his eyes darting between his Hyung and the maknae,
"I meant, they like the two of them together..... are you sure you won't just ninja attack me?" He demanded  from Xiumin who laughed and pushed him gently to a sitting position.
"Luhan, Lay, you guys, look at the time!" He said sharply. "You guys promised to help clean the rooms. I'm not doing it alone again." Luhan and Lay rose after a customary bit of grumbling. Chen, however, stayed sitting as Xiumin had left him, with a strange lost look on his face.
"Jongdae-ah," called Xiumin and Chen snapped out of his daydream, like he'd been hit again.
"Why are you calling me?!" He demanded incredulously, "I don't even live with you people."
"You owe me," said Xiumin.
"Owe you? What? When? Why? How? Where?" Demanded Chen, still refusing to move.
"Come and I'll tell you," hissed Xiumin, once again and Chen rose, half grudgingly and half willingly.
This left the leader and maknae in an awkward silence from the previous conversation. Finally Kris cleared his throat.
"Sorry, if I made you look like an idiot..." he said. Tao looked at him and shook his head.
"Forget it, I looked like an idiot without your help.... I couldn't waltz to save my life." Tao sighed.
"No you would use Wushu, only an actual idiot would use waltz.... why does it matter to you, anyway?" Kris joined Tao on the floor, seating himself next to the maknae.
"How do I call myself a "romantic" panda when I can't even freaking waltz!!"
"If it makes you feel any better, I can't either," offered Kris. Tao looked at him in disbelief.
"Are you kidding me?! How does it matter if you can, or can't?!" Kris was a little taken aback. "You're THE DUIZHANG!!! You show up singing and knowing nothing but ABCD, and they'll worship you for it!" Kris laughed and Tao looked a little insulted.
"Huang Zhitao, as your duijjang, don't underestimate yourself, if you do nothing but show up, that itself will cause people to worship you, got me?" Tao looked a little flattered at the words.
"You think so...?" Asked Tao, nervously. Kris rose and laughed.
"Now you're talking like an actual idiot." He pulled Tao to his feet and smirked at his dongsaeng. "And as for your original problem. Well just have to get better at waltz then, dui bu dui?"
For the first time in the evening, Tao laughed. "Dui, dui."
Outside the door, Luhan turned to Xiumin and said, " you are a genius!! Letting The Chen loose at the correct moment! And smooth move pulling him out." Xiumin grinned and replied,
"You weren't too bad yourself, bringing it up at the perfect opportunity."
"We make a great team," said Xiumin, as they exchanged a soft high-five. There was a small cough behind them. Chen stood with his arms crossed across his chest. Luhan raised an eyebrow for a second before declaring, "I am expecting a call..." to no one in particular and slipping out. Which caused Xiumin to roll his eyes, obviously having caught onto Luhan's drift.
Once he was out of earshot, Chen turned to Xiumin.
"You weren't too bad yourself," he mimicked, with appropriate faces, and then snorted."Be careful hyung, or you'll have an angry Korean maknae trampling you underfoot for fraternising with his deer, all puns intended." Xiumin laughed and Chen's eyes narrowed at him.
"The angry maknae is not the one I see doing the trampling, at this moment." He's said, paused for a while as heard the music in the living room and then turned toward his room, and spoke once more, "come on."
"I am not cleaning your room and I owe you absolutely NO favours." Excalimed Chen. Xiumin shook his head and replied,
"No, I owe you, come on, I'll get you bubble tea." Chen snorted and called out to the receeding back of his hyung,
"You can't buy me with that. I'm not Sehun! And I'm NOT moving until you tell me what's going on and why the devil do you owe me , now?!" But he followed the older male out of the house, this time, entirely willing.
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Hi guys, sorry if this is OOC, I just had to, I love them so much now :D
Xie xie for reading!
ElfinJoy