A Series of (God-Awfully Unfortunate) Events: Chapter 2

Pairings: OT12, KaiSoo(?) (more later)
Rating: PG 13 (to be safe)
Summary:   In which, Sehun is the new Assistant professor of Language; Jongin mysteriously landed a job in the cafeteria; Kris' English major students are failing; Yixing is the calm Chinese teacher who helps the music club undercover; Kyungsoo is the sweet and oblivious, yet regularly mobbed by fans, Language professor; Luhan is the seemingly sweet Mathematics professor plotting to steal the new Assistant Professor; Jongdae is the snarky Economics professor, with a deadly inner troll; Minseok is the new Electronic Engineering professor whom no one pays any attention to; Tao is the History of Arts professor who (not so) secretly works as a part-time Gucci model; Chanyeol is the grinning Biology teacher; Baekhyun is a diva of a Chemistry teacher; Joonmyeon is the Director of  Affairs, who has no control whatsoever and the Dean of the college is a man so evil that the devil drinks wine with him (by devil we mean Cho Kyuhyun).
____________________________________________________________




















Crouching Gull, Hidden Panda...
[Or: what starts as "Gull I can't explain what I feel" and ends at "You're a model??!"]
•
•
•

The staff room is dark when Sehun enters, only lit by four candles on a desk against one side. The others sit around minding their own businesses, occasionally  looking at each other with raised eyebrows. Sehun moves to turn on a light.
"STAHP GULL!!!" Sehun recoils. On one end of the room, Jongdae sits on a desk, with his legs crossed, his eyes closed, hands aloft by his sides and a towel wrapped around his head like a turban.
"Wha-" Begins Sehun.
"Sssshhh, I'm getting feeeeeeeels."
"What the..?!"
"FeeeEEEeeeEEEeeEEEels."
Kyungsoo throws Jongdae a scathing look in the dark as the "ee"s subside. Luhan flourishes his arm towards his right.
"Welcome to Jongdae time, bro." Sehun raises his brows.
"Wha-?" He gets cut off once more.
"Hush gull! I can't explain what I feeeeel."
"Who's asked you to?" Hisses Baekhyun from the couch. Chanyeol looks oddly fascinated. Jongin however stares unblinkingly at Kyungsoo from his chair.
"My Feeeeeels!!" Exclaims Jongdae again.
"What the hell are you feeling?!" Snaps Minseok.
"I'm feeeeeeeling something......."
"What is Jongdae doing?" Whispers Sehun to Luhan and Yixing.
"GULL!!" Sehun jumps when he realises Jongae has some how crept up behind him. "I'm not the awesome Kim Jongdae, right now, I'm The Chensing Masheen." He finishes with a flourished bow, which causes the turban to tumble off of his head and he saves it, except now an edge of the towel covers his right eye.
"Don't ask the question. Don't ask the question. Don't ask the question," mutters Yixing beside him.
"Wha..? Anyway, what is "The Chensing Masheen?"
"Aaaand he asked the question," groans Luhan. Yixing facepalms. Jongdae grins like a cat with cream and and rubs his paws together.
"I'm so glad you asked my ignorant friend," he purrs, "The Chensing Masheen will answer all your most burning questions!"
"What questions?"
"Aaaaand he asked again!" Luhan throws Sehun a dirty look to which he receives a blank stare. Jongdae circles the furniture like a vulture and does his best Dracula stance behind Kris.
"'Vell my leetteel friend," Kris cringes at the sound. "I can tell you everytheeeng! Everytheeeeeng. Vat do you vant to know."
"Ummm... are you identity confused?" Pipes up Jongin. "Cuz the Dracula voice is weird...."
"GULL!!" Kris flinches as Jongdae Jumps on top of the couch. "You are ze confused one!"
"Huh...?"
"Jongdae stop jumping on the couch." Mutters Kris.
"Uh-uh-un gull~ You know this is Jongdae time." Kris rubs his temples.
"Just get off the couch."
"Just get off the couch what~?"
"Please?" Sighs Kris. Jongdae takes one leg off of the couch.
"How about nah gull~" He says in a singsong voice and jumps harder for extra effect. Kris' eyes snap open.
"How about yes." There's something strangely commanding in his voice that makes Jongdae stop for a brief second, which gives Kris enough time to grab the shorter around the mid riff and hoist him up.
"Hey- Dude- What the hell??!!"
"Tao!" Yells Kris, but apparently Tao doesn't need to be told as he grabs Jongdae's thrashing legs and the two hold him between then swinging in the air.
"Gull this is not funny!! You lost a bet to me!! I shall have my Jongdae time!!"
"No you don'- oof!" Groans Kris as Jongdae's bony elbow hits him in the chest. "I've had enough of you calling people aquatic birds and prancing around like Dracula!"
"I will have my revenge I tell you! I will return and haunt you to your graves! Revenge!! Reven-" Thud.
"Oops, that was totally unintentional," grins Tao, as he maneuvers Jongdae past the door correctly. Jongdae glowers darkly.
"Let's go dump this body Tao..." Mutters Kris as Jongdae gives him a horrified look.
The bell rings and the other professors start filing out to their classes. Jongin grudgingly returns to his post at the cateen throwing longing glances back at Kyungsoo as he does, only to bash into Yixing's bookshelf and rush out from under Kyungsoo's very confused gaze.
 Kyungsoo taps Sehun on the shoulder."You don't have to come with me for this class, I'll call for you later, okay?" Sehun nods.
"Umm... hyung?" He eyes Kyungsoo carefully, judging the only sane person in a staff room full of insane people. he thinks it's afe to question him and expect a normal answer.
"Hmm?"
"What was that all about?" Kyungsoo laughs.
"Well, around last sem, he won a bet against us and ever since he gets "Jongdae Time" once a month to piss the life out of us. It usually ends that way too." He sighs. "Well, I'll be off... and uh.. not to be rude... but is your friend okay in the head...? I mean he is the guy responsible for our food."
"He used to be.... almost normal..." Says Sehun, pretty much unsure of Jongin's mental heath himself. Kyungsoo smiles knowingly and picks up his books.
Sehun starts working on reading some student essays and wonders what language he's reading for the most part (it's supposed to be Korean) until someone clears his throat nest to him.
"Yeah...?" He looks uneasily up at Tao. For the three weeks that he's been here, Tao is the person he's spoken the least too, and it probably had something to do with the fact that the other gave off a dangerous emo aura and stuck to Kris like glue for the most part, so he doesn't quite process it when Tao asks him a favour- specially a favour like this.
"You want me to what?!"
"Umm.... go shopping with me....? The mall is fifteen minutes away!" Sehun thinks he looks like an a wolf trying to make puppy eyes, and oddly succeeding.
"So creepy...," mutters Sehun.
"What?"
"I said, what happened to Kris hyung?"
"He's busy... doing Canadian stuff," shrugs Tao.
"Wha- what about Kyungsoo hyung? He could go with you after class."
"He's busy doing Korean stuff...?
"How about Luhan hyung? Or Yixing hyung?" Sehun takes a last shot.
"Oh them... they're busy doing... stuff..." Says Tao ominously.
"Stuff...?"
"It's best nobody knows what those two are up to." He shudders. Sehun wonders, at the back of his mind, if its Jongin that's affecting the sanity level of this place or is the place affecting Jongin? He sighs in resignation.
"Yeah okay, I'll go." Tao's eyes turn into crescents as he gives Sehun an awkward hug (well it's awkward for Sehun) and he runs out calling,
"See you downstairs in five!"


"HOLY SHIT!!! That's you!! And that!! And that one too!!"
"Wh-wha- hehe.. you must be seeing things...."
"No I'm positive it's you!" Sehun flaps the magazine at Tao's face, while the latter takes a step backwards.
"That's just some, very good-looking guy, who happens to look like me," insists Tao. Sehun raises his eyebrows and points to the two posters on either sides of the display window of the store.
"What about those?"
"Same, ridiculously good-looking guy."
"I don't believe it! You're a Gucci model??!"
"Shhhhh!!" Tao covers Sehun's mouth with a hand. "It's supposed to be a secret!!"
"Pfft, everyone knows," says a soft voice behind Sehun, causing him to jump into Tao.
"Tsk, tsk, kids these days. Mind the PDA," says another voice. Sehun detaches himself from Tao and looks to see Yixing and Luhan.
"You practically wanted us to know," says Luhan. "You left all those magazines when they came out and dragged us to the mall all the time."
"You've been played kid," grins Yixing. Sehun raises an eyebrow at Tao who blushes.
"I-it's not like that! I really do have stuff to buy," he says, ducking behind a shirt rack.
"Sure~ Come on XingXing, our job here is done~"
"Don't call me that."
Sehun watches the two of them leave and looks at Tao.
"How did they get here...? I thought they had class...."
"Noooobody will ever know..." Tao's voice wafts over from the shirt section.
"Talk about your crouching dragon, hidden panda," sighs Sehun. Tao peeps out from behind a section of fluorescent shirts and grins at him.
"You can pick anything you like, you know? One for free. I'll put it on my tab."
"You can do that?" Tao nods. Sehun returns him a grin of his own. "You're a good man, my friend."
"So we're cool?"
"Oh we are colder than cool," says Sehun before attacking a sunglasses stand with gusto.
"Err... okay then..."
"Is there a price limit?"
"Yes.."
"We're a little less cool now."

____________________________________________________________

This is a picture of the staff room and Suho's office.
I hope to get better at humor as I write so please bear with me and I'm happy to receive suggestions.
Xie xie,
ElfinJoy
P.S- in the summary, if you click on the highlighted names, you will get images of the members as I imagine them to be in the story! Also if you click the highlighted words when Sehun talks about Tao being a model, you'll see the pictures (I think you'll want to, after all who doesn't want a hot Taozi!) 
___________________________________________________________

Cut Scene 2: Kim Jongdae and his Tape again.

"So wanna go get gelato later XingXing...?"
"I told you not to call me that, Luhan."
"Why?? It sounds cute!"
"No, it sounds silly."
"What? Dude! I've given you the most amazing name on planet earth and you slander it like that!! For shame Zhang Yixing! For-"
"SUUURRRRRPRIISE!!!"
"AAAAARRGH!!"
"HEY! Get off of me Luhan!" Click. 
"Oh my pure blackmail gold."
"What the hell Jongdae just give it back!!"
"What the hell Lu, get off of me!!"
"Ooo you two are so precious."
"Get off of my lap you oaf!!
"Who are you calling an oaf!!?? I'm as light as a fawn! And give that back Jongdae!!"
"Nope my pretties, I'm so milking this one! Mwahahahhah!!"
"I think my thighs are dead."
"Shut up XingXing! Get back here Kim Jongdae!!"
"Catch me if you can~ Mwahahahhah!!"
"No Xing- Put that diction-"
"Stop right there!!"
"Nope~ Mwahaha-" THUNK!
"Uhh.... we might have to dispose off of his body XingXing." THUNK!
"Huh... looks like I have to dispose two now..."
___________________________________________________________

The Blessed: Chapter 2.

                                           Συναντήσεις (Synantí̱seis)
                                                                       Meetings~ 


(6:05 pm KST; Seoul, South Korea)
Kyungsoo watches the boy ahead him carefully. Jongin presses his nose into the glass of a petshop and on the other side, a golden retriever pup does the same, wagging its tail, sticking out its tongue, and greeting Jongin with a doggy "hello" through the window pane.
Jongin grins and contemplates going inside, but an impatient snort reminds him of his current situation.
Kyungsoo walks behind him once more, eyeing the exposed skin of Jongin's neck, hoping that Jongin will chose a sparsely populated lane, where he could quickly obliterate Jongin's existence, before the kid figured out who he was. Though, it seems Jongin at least has the presence of mind to walk through the busiest of Seoul's streets, while in the company of a secretly homicidal stranger. Kyungsoo has to acknowledge that sense, while crackling his knuckles in impatient anticipation and planning.
Jongin looks behind and smiles widely at Kyungsoo for some obscure reason, while the latter feels a tiny stab of remorse in his inhuman heart. Oh well, at least he mentally thanked the kid.
.
.
.
(6:07 pm KST; Incheon International Airport, 48 km from Seoul, South Korea)
"I'm sorry, can't you drive faster?!"
"I don't think he speaks Chinese Lu..."
"Its an emergency! Please drive faster!"
"I'm sorry sir, the traffic is too thick."
"Calm down Luhan."
"I have a really bad feeling about this Xing!!"
"We can't do much about it.."
"We can't lose him too."
"We won't, I'm calling Tao."
.
.
.
(6:09 pm KST; Seoul, South Korea)
"Where is your house? Its not safe for you to be walking around now that your powers have awakened." Kyungsoo of course does not mention he is Jongin's biggest threat currently. Jongin stops and sighs.
"I'm sorry... I was walking around a bit... this Blessed One thing is a lot to swallow... is it okay if I go home at all?" Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. "I mean, in all of the movies, the hero goes home, amd some monster kills his family..." Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.
"You're hardly close to a Hero." Jongin colours.
"Not like that but..."
"But you're right, we should figure out a place for you to lie low." And for me to get rid of you.
Jongin nods, missing the dark look in Kyungsoo's eyes.
He walls off of the main streets and takes a by lane, barely peopled and slightly dark. He takes a right from lamp post, turning to Kyungsoo as he does, "there is this place all the wrong kids from school used to go to, everyone knew of it. That's the only place I can think of right now..." Kyungsoo nods in agreement. Jongin turns right. Kyungsoo flexes his neck, before reaching his hands out to grab the back of Jongin's neck. There is the sickening crack of bone as Jongin, barely aware of what has passed, slumps forward onto the hard sidewalk.
.
.
.
(Suspended time; Seoul, South Korea)
"I can sense him..."
"Tao should stop very soon."
"What if we're too late?"
"Well— look everything's moving again Lu..."
"Let's hurry"
.
.
.
(6:09 pm KST; Seoul, South Korea)
Jongin takes a right from lamp post, turning to Kyungsoo as he does, "there is this place all the wrong kids from school used to go to, everyone knew of it. That's the only place I can think of right now..." Kyungsoo nods in agreement. Jongin turns right. Kyungsoo flexes his neck and hears a loud thump and a few curses. He looks past Jongin to see two Chinese boys, the shorter of the two, having bumped into Jongin, was now apologetic, while the taller one eyed Jongin suspiciously.
"Are you Kim Jongin?"
To Kyungsoo, the taller one had the pretty face of the kind that Zeus, if he looked down from Olympus might snatch up in his talons.
"I suddenly became a lot more famous," said Jongin nervously.
"Are you Kim Jongin?!" The taller snapped. Jongin took a step back and nodded.
Kyungsoo surveyed his options, chances were that these boys were more of the Blessed, in which case his plans were moot.
"That's great, I'm Luhan and this is Yixing." The shorter one smiled languidly. "Do you have a passport?"
"I-I think so... why?"
"We have a safe house, in Beijing."
"Beijing..." Jongin turns to Kyungsoo, whom the two Chinese notice for the first time.
"Who is this?" Asks Luhan, narrowing his eyes. Kyungsoo smiles nonchalantly.
"Kyungsoo, and you won't need a passport."
"Why?" Asks Yixing.
"Because he's a teleporter"
.
.
.
(5:15 pm, CST; EXO Studios, Beijing, China)
"What are you doing?" Wonders Yifan as he reclines on the lounge chair in the living room. Tao bites his nails while pacing up and down in front of the bay window overlooking the main street.
"What does it look like," he murmurs. Yifan sinks deeper into the couch and exhales deeply.
"Give them time, they're in another country. Its not like they can telep— WHAT THE—??!!" A small, slender and pale man appears on the couch next to him. Over the stranger's shoulders he sees Luhan on the floor and Yixing underneath him.
"Oh he finally got it right!" Exclaims Luhan, his right hand over his eyes,  not rising yet. A tan boy lifts himself out from behind the couch. Yifan shrieks and shrinks back into his side of the seat. Tao has a horrified expression to rival his.
"We-we made it?" The tan boy asks hesitantly. The one on the couch looks around with piqued interest.
"Yeah," mumbles Yixing weakly, and Luhan jumps off, only then registering his presence. "Welcome to HQ."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N- The reference to Zeus was this story.

The Blessed: Chapter 1.

 “Boy and girls, please be very careful of the artifacts. If you look to your right, you’ll see the Greek section and to your left, is the Egyptian section, now this way please…”
“Psst~ Jonginnie~ Psst~”
“What?!”
“I’ll bet you can’t run over to that vase and touch it and come back.”
“I’ll bet the same, goody-two shoes!”
“Don’t you guys have better bets to make?”
“Aww, scared much?”
“Hey, Jong! Too full of chicken?”
“Of all the lame jokes to make… fine, I’ll go and touch the stupid vase, it’s an urn actually.”
“Ooo~ an ‘u~rn’, very fancy~”
“Bunch of silly… stupid… people… there! I touched it, hap- oh shit!!”

‘Darkness… darkness… doomed to eternal darkness… then why is there that-? Why is there a crack in the shroud of Tartarus…? Are those… human voices?’

“The idiot dropped it!!”
“Oi!! Hurry!! Put it back!!”
“Run!! Here comes the guide!!”
“Holy hell! Seongsaengnim!!”
“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU”RE DOING?!?”

‘Is Tartarus opening again…? No, that cannot be, no one else seems to have seen the light... who’s voices are those?’

“Ahh… Seongsaengnim… I was… I wanted a good look at this art work, looks like it’s from the Corinthian era… hehe…”
“You should have asked then. Now get back in line Kim Jongin!”
“Yes sir!”

‘Kim Jongin…? Is he the one who freed me?’

  Απαρχές (Aparchés)
             Beginnings~

(3:25 pm KST; Seoul, South Korea) 

Jongin grins as he walks out of the school grounds for the last time, the trip to the museum from the previous summer, still fresh in his mind for some reason. It was a good thing he was known for being an academically interested student. He’d been let off by the teacher on the excuse of ‘wanting to get a better look at Greco-Roman art’ and only he had noticed the hairline crack on the side of the black urn… a fact he was more than happy to keep to himself.
He turns homeward, only to have a short stranger cut off his path.
“Excuse me, are you Kim Jongin?” Jongin looks at the stranger in wonder. The stranger is almost a head shorter, all baby-faced, wide-eyed, soft cheeks and milky skin. Jongin is a little shocked (maybe more than just a ‘little’ awed) and the stranger waves his hands in front of his face. Pretty fingers too…? Jongin snaps back to reality and the stranger slowly asks again,
“Are. You. Kim. Jong. In?” Enunciating every word clearly as if Jongin is either hard of hearing or stupid or both. Maybe Jongin is because he mutely nods. The stranger smiles brightly. I think I need shades…
“Great. I’m Kyungsoo, and I’ve been waiting for you for over a year.”
“…say what?!” Jongin pivots on his heels. Crazy stalker! Crazy stalker alert!! He starts walking as fast as he possibly can in his graduation robes and sends up a prayer that the crazy stalker won’t follow him. One block down the road, and Jongin looks back to find no trace of the guy. He breathes a relieved sigh and decides to walk home the long way.
“Hello again.”
“AAARGH!!” Jongin jumps a foot into the air at the soft voice next to him. Not again… “Look buddy, I don’t know who you think I am, but I certainly don’t swing that way. So you’re pretty and all, but sorry. Nope. See ya’!”  There’s a firm hand on his shoulders and the next thing Jongin knows is that he’s being pulled backwards. “Yah!! Yah! Let go! Let me- HELP!! HELP ME!!! I’m BEING KIDNAPPED!!” His screams were met by odd stares from passersby, who wondered at his mental health. At almost a head shorter, Kyungsoo certainly looks like the kidnapped one, except, muses Jongin, they obviously can’t feel the rock solid grip.
Jongin feels a strange sense of panic that renders him unable to fight this smaller, lithe stranger who should ideally have blown away with the wind, or so thinks Jongin as he mentally panics, while physically screeching like a banshee, till Kyungsoo has had enough and he claps his hand over the other’s mouth. Jongin’s screams turn to muffled gasps, as he begins to feel oddly discomforted at the touch. Kyungsoo’s hand smells of the warm summer earth, and fresh grass, Jongin's senses begin to cloud over as he feels slightly dizzy. The aroma of the earth is suffocating now, as he squeeses his eyes shut, his body having long succumbed to being dragged around. The dizzyness is numbing. Kyungsoo stops, sensing something wrong. Jongin grinds his teeth to stop the pain. His vision turns black. He feels a strong rush of air. The ground gives way from beneath his feet as he lands face forward into soft grass.
Jongin opens his eyes to find himself in a park, that should have been about a hundred meters away. Kyungsoo blocks his sunlight as he stands over him, with his head cocked to one side as if studying a specimen in a laboratory. Jongin bolts up and shakes an accusing finger at him.
"YOU! WHO THE- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU??!! HOW THE FREAKING HELL DID YOU DO THIS??!!"
"Me...?" Kyungsoo whispers quietly. "No, I did none of this..."
"Then how...?" Jongin's words die away as Kyungsoo looks very meaningfully at him.
"Welcome to the family fledgling, you are one of the Blessed."
"Wha....?"
.
.
.

(2:45 pm CST; Beijing, China)

"Oi! Luhan... Luhan!!"
"Ye... Huh- wha- what...?"
"You passed out again... "
"Xing..."
"Yes...?"
"Tickets.... Seoul. I've.. found the last one."
"Wait- what? Luhan?! Come back- dammit!"
.
.
.

(3:45 pm KST; Seoul, South Korea)

"I'm a what...?"
"A Blessed One."
"So what am I, like a holy Harry Potter? You're kinda tiny for a Hagrid though..."
"What is a 'Harry Potter'... and however big a Hagrid is, I assure you, I'm a thousand times bigger."
"What are you.... how the hell do you not know what Harry Potter is??!! Any way, what is this "Blessed One"?
"There are twelve of them-"
"Then how is it a 'One'-"
"SILENCE!" Kyungsoo slams his fist into the trunk of a nearby tree, leaving a wide crater on the surface and his hand miraculously unscathed. Jongin pales.
"Umm... nevermind... so Blessed One...?"
"There are twelve children, each blessed by a God or Beast, to protect the earth in their absence."
 "From what? Like psychopaths... serial killers.... the government... aliens from outer space..?"
"What gibberish is that...?"
"Wha... what are you... are you like me?"
"It isn't important."
.
.
.

(3:00 pm, CST; Beijing, China)

"His name is Jongin, and- damn! Why is this taking so long??!!"
"We're bound by traffic laws, Luhan."
"To hell with laws, just drive faster Yifan!"
"Don't yell at him Lu..."
"You guys don't get it! We can't afford to lose another one..."
"We won't, okay? Have some faith."
"Faith has forsaken us, Xing, what's the use?"
.
.
.

(4:00 pm, KST; Seoul South Korea)

"There are others like me? Whatever 'me' is..."
"Yes, and you... are important." Kyungsoo walks forward a few steps, contemplating on the next course of action. Ideally, Jongin should be disposed off of. Being one of the Blessed, he is an immediate threat, even if the boy isn't aware of Kyungsoo's nature...yet. Then again, a teleporter, and an inexperienced one at that, isn't much of a threat alone. Kyungsoo looks over his shoulders and sees the slumped form of the tan boy on the bench. Dusk is approaching. Soon the sun will abandon this face of the earth. Darkness is something Kyungsoo is used to, not in this form, but it is still a welcome shroud. He looks over to Jongin once more. One quick snap of the neck and everything would be over, wouldn't it...?
.
.
.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: This series was inspired by Greek Mythology.

[Chapter 2]

A Series of (God-Awfully Unfortunate) Events: Chapter 1

Pairings: OT12, KaiSoo(?) (more later)
Rating: PG 13 (to be safe)
Summary:   In which, Sehun is the new Assistant  professor of Language; Jongin mysteriously landed a job in the cafeteria; Kris' English major students are failing; Yixing is the calm Chinese teacher who helps the music club undercover; Kyungsoo is the sweet and oblivious, yet regularly mobbed by fans, Language professor; Luhan is the seemingly sweet Mathematics professor plotting to steal the new Assistant Professor; Jongdae is the snarky Economics professor, with a deadly inner troll; Minseok is the new Electronic Engineering professor whom no one pays any attention to; Tao is the History of Arts professor who (not so) secretly works as a part-time Gucci model; Chanyeol is the grinning Biology teacher; Baekhyun is a diva of a Chemistry teacher; Joonmyeon is the Director of  Affairs, who has no control whatsoever and the Dean of the college is a man so evil that the devil drinks wine with him (by devil we mean Cho Kyuhyun).
____________________________________________________________

This Could Be the Start of Something New...
[Or: what starts at "why the hell did I come here?!" and ends at "you are my mortal enemy— FOR LIFE!!!"]
•
•
•
Oh Sehun is your average Joe, except he's Korean, so maybe he's an average "Kim", but he's obviously an "Oh", not a "Kim" so... anyway, the point is, if he was an American. he'd be an average Joe. An average guy, with an average family, from an average town, with an average job, until his parents forced him to go to Seoul for work.... but he's still an average guy- wondering what he's done to end up in this loony bin.
It hasn't been five minutes since he's entered the campus and two minutes of those five have been wasted by a human traffic jam, caused by the onlookers of a fight between two people, one of whom looked like a very tall Psychotic Clown, with a weird blonde mushroom growing out of his head and the other was a very tiny (or did he just look tiny because of the giant mushroom guy, wonders Sehun) guy, who looked like he was the spokesperson for Eyeliner rights, both of whom were hurling insults at each other...

"You Sone of a bicarbonate!"
"You're the Sone! The Sone of a Brachybacterium!"
"Why you freaking nitrate of ammonia-"

Sehun hadn't waited there for much longer before making dash in the opposite direction and yet by some sad twist of fate, here those two are sitting opposite him in the staff lounge, no longer fighting but with each other but now Ginormous-Psycho-Mushroom dude has his arm draped over Eyeliner-Poster-boy, who's reading over sheets of paper while trying worm his way out of the taller one's grip. On Sehun's right there's a person who looks like a little kid, well if truth be told, like a cherubic  little girl, and this Little Girl-Guy has his foot across the couch on the lap of a very calm looking Chinese man, who actually looks more dazed and lost than calm. Then next to the Mushroom-Eyeliner duo is a man with the cheek bones of a Greek God, except he'd tripped Sehun on his way to the couch and flashed him a very disarming grin so Sehun decides that he's officially Mr. Cheekbones-of-Hades, there's also a Chinese guy with panda eyes who looks way too fashionable for a professor (also he has a strange emo aura), a guy with really squishy looking cheeks and a really tall imposing guy, who has not said a word, or lifted his eyes off his book (Premeditated Murder Made Easy) so Sehun's giving him a wide berth. Somewhere in the middle of this zoo, his old friend Jongin walks in. Jongin has landed the head position in the cafeteria and Sehun wonders exactly what horrors the students are in for.
But before he has a chance to wonder exactly how may hospitals will be full by the end of the day, the Director of Affairs, who's name Sehun knows is Joonmyeon, walks in with a smile that says "look-at-me-lowly-beings-I'm-an-angel" but he really looks like somebody's grandpa trying to be cool.
"Sehun ssi, glad you'll be joining us, you too Jongin ssi."
"Seriously?!" Squishy-Cheeks looks at at the Director with incredulous eyes. "You're giving cafeteria boy a welcome too?!" Then he looks over at Jongin apologetically. "No offense bro." Jongin shrugs.
"Anyhoo," the Joonmyeon carries on, "let me introduce you. That's Luhan, he lectures math." Little-Girl guy gives him a real angelic smile, that leaves Sehun mildly disturbed. "That's Chanyeol, Chem." Psychotic-Mushroom gives him a psychotic grin. "That's Baekhyun, Bio." The Eyeliner-poster-boy looks up in disdain.
"Hey kids, and it's Bio-logy."
"Yeah, okay, that's Jongdae, he's for Eco." Mr. Cheekbones-of-Hades grins at them.
"What's up shortstuff?" Jongin and Sehun raise eyebrows, because Jongdae looks atleast a head shorter than both of them.
"That's Tao, History of Art and Kris, English." Panda-Eyes and Potential-Murderer give him curt nods. "This is Minseok, Electronics." Squishy-Cheeks pouts and then smiles kindly (is that pity in his eyes?) at the two. "And this is Yixing, Chinese." There is no response as the dazed Yixing stares at the opposite wall with his eyes half-shut, and his ears plugged with purple earphones. "Yixing? Yixing? Yixi-"
BAM!
The door flies open and Yixing jumps up with a "I swear I was paying attention!", while Luhan's legs drops to the floor and he utters a yelp of protest. The person at the door looks like a sorry mess.
"I'm... sorry... I'm... late...." he manages to spout among the panting and gasping. Sehun notices his shirt looks terribly crumpled and his hair is more than askew, while his large eyes are watering and his cheeks are red. Sehun thinks this pint sized man looks like a soft toy, and he's about to say that to Jongin, when he realises that his friend is staring unabashedly at the new comer, with eyes wide enough to match his.
"Ayo! Wassup D.O.!" Luhan calls out chreerily, two decibels too loud and everyone visibly winces.
"Mobbed again Soo?" Minseok asks with a pat on "Soo's" back. He nods woefully.
"I don't even... they need some... so many people!!!!" Baekhyun rises from Chanyeol's grasp and gives his seat to "Soo" who gets engulfed into a bear-hug by the large Biology professor.
"Yeol-can't-breathe-let-go-" Chanyeol lets go with a hurried apology. He hears something snap, actually snap next to him, and he realises that Jongin has broken a pencil in two with his fingers while looking at Chanyeol like he was going to end up on the afternoon's lunch menu soon.
"How do they even find you?" Sehun almost fell out of his seat in shock at the deep baritone of Kris. "Soo" shook his head in utter defeat.
"I swear, someday I will find out." Sehun has the intense urge to hug this tiny man. He notices Jongin's knuckles have turned white.
"This is Kyungsoo," says Joonmyeon. "Sehun ssi, you'll be his assistant lecturer."
There's a suddenly loud crash and Sehun realises that Jongin has fallen out of his seat, and is now looking at Sehun with a face halfway between "I'm-in-terrible-pain" and "I-will-end-your-life"... why the second, Sehun does not know.
"You teach Languge?" Jongin asks Kyungsoo politely (too polite, thinks Sehun), while trying to act as if nothing had happened. Kyungsoo looks at him with the same curiosity that one might use to look at a monkey in a zoo.
"Yes, I do.."
"He totally D-O-e-s!" Quips a grinning Luhan. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.
"Isn't it a bit too early to make fun of my last name?"
"Of course not Do-nut my man!"
"Argh!" Says Kyungsoo, ruffling his own hair in defeat. Suddenly Sehun feels himself being hauled upwards by two pairs of strong hands, and he lets out a very high pitched yelp.
"I'm borrowing him for a bit," says Jongin between gritted teeth and proceeds to drag him out of the door, ignoring the raised eyebrows and Jongdae's call of "play nice kids!" and slam him against the wall at the nearest corner.
"You're the Assistant prof.?" He demands.
"Ye-ah..." Sehun is very unsure of where this is headed.
"No~!" Wails Jongin and slumps to the floor. "You... but I... I mean this.... I- I don't want to work in the cafe!!"
"Why'd you even get a job there? You're-"
"Don't talk to me Oh Sehun!"
"What? You dragged me out here-"
"Zip! Do not talk!"
"Wha-?"
"Oh Sehun you're officially my mortal enemy- FOR LIFE!"
"Morta-"
"For LIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!" Says Jongin before stomping off. A second later Sehun hears a crash and a groan.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!" He peeks around the corner to see Jongin sprawled on the floor with a very concerned Kyungsoo hovering over him.
"Ooooh, you've D-O-n-e it now," whistles Luhan.
"Not now for god's sake! Are you okay?" Jongin groans and opens his eyes. Sehun notes his friend's interesting red colour over his tan skin.
"I'm hot!" Says Jongin springing up, and Kyungsoo takes a hasty step backwards, while Sehun mentally facepalms. "I- I mean I'm cool! Not- not that cool, but cool as in 'hey I'm okay'... oh wait that rhymed and umm.. I uhh-" He catches a sight of Sehun's impassive face around the corner. "For LIIIIIIIFE!!" And he bolts towards the stairs, leaving a very amused Luhan and Yixing and a very confused Kyungsoo in his wake. In fact, Sehun can almost hear Kyungsoo's internal comment on Jongin's sanity, or the lack of it.
So a loony bin, that just became loonier thanks to Kim Jongin, contemplates Sehun as he walks through the corridors. Students start pouring in, some looking at him in vague interest, others hurriedly rushing past.
He sees Chanyeol and Baekhyun animatedly discussing something, Lunhan, Yixing and Jongdae with their heads conspiratorially together, Joonmeyon walking through the corridors, smiling perkily at the students who  could not care less, Kris walking off with his nose still in the book ( Sehun is going to give him a very wide berth)  and Tao occasionally pauses to check his reflection in the mirror.
Yes, right now if someone could read Oh Sehun's mind, they'd hear him ask exactly what sin he's committed to end up here.
____________________________________________________________


This is the first chapter in the series, the following ones are going to focus on a few members at a time, rarely all 12.
I hope to get better at humor as I write so please bear with me and I'm happy to receive suggestions.
Xie xie,
ElfinJoy
P.S- in the summary, if you click on the highlighted names, you will get images of the members as I imagine them to be in the story!
___________________________________________________________

Cut Scene 1: Kim Jongdae and his Tape.

"Not fair... even Lunch-Boy gets a welcome and I got nothing when I came last month. Just 'Hey Minseok, this is your schedule, have fun.' Who the hell has fun in Trical?! People just stare-"
"SUUURPRIISE!!!"
"OH MY- oh very funny Jongdae... what's that?"
"This is a tape recorder and why yes, I did record my voice and then digitally layer it eleven times so it sounds like bunch of people and ta~da~!"
"Where the hell... do you even get the time...?"
"Wouldn't you like to know my little Minseokkie, ehehehehehee."
"I'm not your little Minseo-."
"Ehehehehehehee."
"The whole evil-hand-rubbing thing isn't working, so sto-."
"Ehehehehehehee."
"And nor is the high-pitched-maniacal laugh, just sto-"
"Ehehe-" THUNK!
"OH MY GOD! Did you just knock Jongdae out with that text book?!"
"Lu..han... I uhh-"
"HEY GUYS! WE NEED TO HOST A PARTY IN HONOUR OF MINSEOK! LIKE NOW!!"
___________________________________________________________